Upon That I Rely

The end could be tomorrow
so I’m going to numb, extinguish
and blind myself to all the pain;
need and want I try distinguish.

I overthink my walk to the den
when I’m in my head once again
I find myself dwell upon those
who I think I can call friend.

I need not but those I love
to see that I hurt above to below
stubbornness I have I’m scared
to see the end of the day go.

I want to say so much to all
who can see my countenance
that dredges deep waters cold
from God a prison sentence.

Seize the day to play smiles
after all the tears and the miles
I’ll be asking what to do from
those who face the same trials.

Maybe I can ascend to enlighten
my mind in my altered states.
The course I choose take I pray
will be free from same mistakes.

Burn alive I had to do to try
a new substance so I can try fly.
But it is taking me away from me
so for now on purpose I’ll rely.

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