Decrepit

Fellow my best friend
I’ve got a secret capsule
that I intend to numb
the pain not the actual.

I want the end to come
I want the sun to be done.
Explode erode corrode
a rebel I will become.

I will crawl upon dirt
back to the same hurt
where I keep my secrets
not buried under earth.

I want to expose it all
heart, mind and soul
where I used to keep it
upon strict covert patrol.

Nevermind the blood
for there is vessel in my
brain and everyday I cry
I just want to die.

Tell me sanctuary Lord
keep me covered in
palms pierced though
I am covered in sin.

Love me Lord I want
love more than usual God
that I’ve become decrepit
unusual broken and odd.

Keep this cigarette lit
I whisp the world away
to the sound of Sinatra
sipping gin during the day.

Straighten up soldier I
tell myself but I don’t know
what to say who to see
where to plant seed to grow.

No more worries I’m glad
the sun has come to see
the sun inside me brings
me to try in hope believe.

The world is cruel stop
shall I all my own misdeeds.
This life I call my own is
sadly nowhere near my creed.

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