Dear Diary,

Today was a good day. I found something toxic and swallowed it down. All the acidity of a life worth living has taken its toll on me today. I am a gifted liar at times. I need to be.

Beauty it seems has its allure in the light as does it in the shadow. My shadow is allusive. The little fuck. I brick myself up. Piece by piece. All as a whole and whole as all. I shall tempt myself knowing I am sane.

Guarded I am and a laugh brings out the best of me. I’ve got to be what I must for everyone. I must be strong when I am weak. I must be merciful in times of mercilessness. I must be the whispering willow who visits the brooks to take a sip and calm the waters.

But I am not this now. Nor will I ever be. Chaos is the discoverer and destructor of me. I touch it it burns. The softness of touch has abandoned me. I seek it smiles. I seek it meek and I seek it today.

Today was a good day…

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